Nobody's gonna take my blog

blog post #10

2009-01-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

I have chosen to review the album Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath. For those of you who know anything about the band Black Sabbath, you'd know that their lead singer was Ozzy Osbourne. This was true, up until 1979 when Ozzy was fired for being a drunken lay-a-waste. This heralded the inclusion of one Ronnie James Dio, formerly of the band Rainbow. Dio's signature roar echoes throughout every track, destroying all memories of Ozzy's memorable wail. Let's go over each track one by one...
1. Neon Knights: fast paced, great start to signal the reinvention of a band.
2. Children of the Sea: slower, creates a mood of despair.
3. Lady Evil: average track, nothing that stands out.
4. Heaven and Hell: the only song on the album that reminds us of classic Sabbath circa 1970.
5. Wishing Well: Iommi's best guitar work on the album, blistering solos.
6. Die Young: best track on the album, gritty, fast paced.
7. Walk Away: far too poppy to be a heavy metal song, reminiscent of Boston.
8. Lonely is the Word: good closing song, more good Iommi work.

Overall it's a solid album musically, quite worth the time if you're a fan of Ronnie James Dio. For Sabbath fans however, you may just prefer listening to Paranoid one more time.
3 out of 5 satanir pentagrams

blog post #9

2008-12-17T19:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sure this script included...

-sledgehammer

-native indian story

-block of wood

-"annie, what are you doing?"

-"god, I love you."

-"don't worry paul, it'll all be over soon."

-hobbling

-paul laying in bed

I bet the movie crew added...

-paul's intense screaming

-annie's outfit

-paul's outfit

-paul's calm demeanor at first

-showing the foot break

-"annie, what ever you are about to do, please don't do it."

-hearing the foot break

-annie's cross necklace

Blog Post #8 (for real)

2008-12-03T21:05:00.000-08:00

I like girl singers
Alanis Morissette's my fave
It is Ironic

We should be ashamed
Cheap Trick's music is awful
For shame Illinois

Got to love Ram Jam
You know about Black Betty?
It's their only song

blog post #8

2008-11-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

I would have to say that the holiday that I hold favorite in my heart would be Comic Appreciation Day. Of course I use the term day loosely, as this holiday is in fact an all weekend occurence in closest sense of a convention. In the weeks prior to this event, streets and buildings all across the world are immersed in the festive decorations of comic characters. People everywhere will dress up as their favorite comic book characters, everything from superheroes to cartoon strips. The weekend of celebration will include costume contests, debates between Marvel lovers and DC lovers, and all the autographs signings the celebrities can take! The goal is just to consolidate all the comic conventions of the world and combine them into one great big comic-love fest. Imagine Woodstock, but with comics. That's right, I'm talking big time celebration. It'll be the best three days of each year! And in the truest style of comics, everything will be resolved in the end, almost as if by magic. That way, no one has to clean up. What a holiday!

blog post #6

2008-11-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

I believe that the act of grinding should be outlawed. It is just so utterly distasteful. It is a lewd and disgusting act that cannot in any just world be described as dancing. The fact that grinding is accepted as a form of dancing is a crime, let alone allowed at any school function. Dancing is supposed to be about beautiful expression of the creative soul, not offensive gestures akin to that of a primitive ape. Kids these days need to learn the classic forms of dancing such as waltz, swing dancing, and even a little salsa for the truly adventurous. I mean, the world itself is unattractive: grinding. It sounds like the noise that my car makes every morning. It is not something that we, as parents, should be condoning in our schools, or anywhere for that matter. A grind-free world will be a much more appealing place to live in. That is why I am demanding that we put this law into effect and get rid of this unholy act once and for all.

blog post # 5

2008-10-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

The creature that I have come up with is the caninepede. This monster has the body of your average laborador or retriever but equipped with about 20 pairs of legs. It can grow up to six feet in length, from head to abdomen. It is unable to run, per se, but rather it slinks rapidly across the ground in a snake-like fashion. Its many legs allow for it to climb over things easily or change direction in a heartbeat. The caninepede enjoys living in dark, damp locations. Its diet includes everything from small insects to large house cats. It has excellent senses of smell and hearing. The monster sounds its howl when it finds prey. So if you hear its many leg scuttle while you're out trick-or-treating, it might be too late.

blog post #4

2008-10-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to this blog post advertisment. I am here to show you an incredibly rare artifact, previously thought to be only a myth, a cell phone that is unable to text! That's right, we are offering perhaps one of the last phones in existence that doesn't include this hastle of a feature. No more carpal tunnel from all that typing on those tiny buttons. No more developing of arthritis from the constant mashing of number pads. Avoid all those tedious messages from friends you don't really like. Avoid all those boring conversations from members of the opposite sex about stuff you don't really care about. Your parents don't know where you are? Give them a call instead. No service? Well then you're pretty much screwed, but at least it'll probably be a situation to look back at and laugh. Hurry up though, because before long, this product will surely be done away with for being obsolete.

blog post #3

2008-09-24T18:36:00.001-07:00

The first storm of winter hits the forest like a slap to the face. The chill of the wind dulls the feeling of any exposed body part. Branches creep and twist from the foliage like spider legs. Frost dangles from every limb, giving off a feeling of uncertainty as one wanders beneath. The all-too familiar crunch of snow(to Minnesotans) accompanies every step. The frozen air stings the throat as deep breaths are inhaled. The only noise to be heard is the faint pitter-patter of snow collapsing from the top canopy. Even the slightest utterance could disturb the tranquility of the habitat. The chilling wind rustles through the trees almost like a whisper. Hints of hoof prints on the forest floor show evidence of elusive creatures that call this place home. A lack of human presence has left the area preserved and pure. The entire scene truly epitomizes pituresqueness.

Blog post 2

2008-09-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

Members of the KISSARMY unite! At http://kissfansite.yuku.com/, everyone who grew up loving the music of KISS (and that means everyone), and everyone who just loves to party (also means everyone), can come and rock out on this fan site. You hardcore fans (cause we don't have wussy fans) out there can bet your ass that you'll rock and roll all nite, and party everyday on this website. Ever since the beginning, back in the early 70's out of New York City, we've owed everything to our fans. We, as a band, have always felt that without you guys, we could never have made it to where we are now at the top of the rock and roll world. Without the wavering support of the KISSARMY (and the marketing of nearly every consumer product known to man), our band could never have made the impact on everyone's lives like we know it has. We came to rock the world by its very foundations, and we sure as hell did it. It's fansites like this, and the billions of others like it across the world that spread the crucial word that is KISS. And know, that as long as you and everyone you know keeps supporting our products (and I guess our music while you're at it), then just maybe KISS will remain for generations to love and worship.

blog post 1

2008-09-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

#1: Explain this

Oh mighty space lords, feast your viewing cavaties on this impressive specimen. Who better to represent the human race than the all-powerful and all-knowing John Madden? He has best served mankind through his popular video stimulus series named after himself. His infinite knowledge on football, earns him the right to voice his opinion after every play. Using his immense fourth-grade vocabulary, Madden has the uncanny ability to point out the obvious better than any other human being. No other lifeform has the ability to market themselves as a product with little grounds of genuine know-how to back it up. You can be certain that his expertise applies to other activities on our planet, but we haven't discovered exactly what just yet.

John Madden/Al Michaels '08! Listen all you elephant lovers out there, because we have just found the new figurehead for the Republican Party! Imagine someone with the patriotism of McCain, the brains of G.W., and the popularity of Schwarzeneggar, and you have yourself John Madden. Along with running mate and long time Monday Night Football announcer Al Michaels, Madden has garnered the attention of millions of football loving, republican voting citizens to guarantee a trip to the White House. They'll pack a dynamic one-two punch against any potential party opponents, not to mention any foreign administrations that stand in they're way. So ask yourself this November; would you rather vote for someone who knows what they're talking about? Or would you want to vote for someone who has brought you quality gaming over the past two decades? We feel the choice is obvious.